How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
