That's when you crack a 10am beer
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
