Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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