Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
