is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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