i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
