how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
