I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
