Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
