They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
