What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
