Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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