...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
