i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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