im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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