all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
