would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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