Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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