You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
