Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
