so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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