we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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