I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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