Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
