somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
