I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
