Yo dont text me then not text me
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Dear god my vagina.
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