We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
