We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
