he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize