Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
