lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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