I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
