You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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