Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
