Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
