My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Randomize
