I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My butt remains clenched, sir.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
