you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
