in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
