I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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