Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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