I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
