Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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