..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
