i was born a porn star she said
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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