RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
