Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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