would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
