So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
A+ Viking dick
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
