oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
