she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
