dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
