am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
