Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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