dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
