Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
