For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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