At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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