On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
