i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
