this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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