yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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