I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
