found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
