i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
