**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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