I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
