I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Randomize
