you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
