Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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