whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
