never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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