Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
